Never Would I Ever
by Forever Me 2k16
Summary: A flood has crashed through Gorgeclan, killing a cat whose heart has become twisted. Stormfeather wants revenge, and she wants it through her daughter Birdkit. Throughout her life, Birdkit will have to resist the dreams from her mother, but will she turn in the end? Foxclan Challenge
1. Chapter 1

"Stormfeather! Get up!" The white and ginger she-cat groaned, her eyes fluttering open. All around her were tall, mossy trees; the sky was dark and a familiar, putrid smell filled her nose.

"What?!" she whispered, scrambling up, almost knocking into the red tabby tom who had shaken her awake roughly. Stormfeather collected herself, trying to ignore her shock, "Darkgaze, why am I here? There was a storm..."

"Stormfeather, you're dead," Darkgaze spat without any emotion. "You drowned, left behind when trying to save your kits." Stormfeather's eyes narrowed and she snarled, but then she softened, "My kits. Did they survive?" Her mentor's coal black eyes seemed to soften a bit, perhaps with sympathy, "Not Mudkit."

"No!" she whispered, burying her head in her paws. Grief overcame her for a moment, but she pulled herself up, her eyes dark.

"Both my clan and Starclan abandoned me in my time of need!" Stormfeather said, her voice strong. "It happened as you said it would. Now, all the clans will feel my wrath!"

* * *

 ***Birdkits' POV**

"Birdkit! Wake up Birdkit!" Birdkit stirred, blinking a couple times. She looked around, confused for a moment before remembering with a wince.

 _"Mama!" Birdkit was calling for her, Fernkit and Mudkit calling as well. Stormfeather appeared a moment later, crouching down, "Get on Birdkit, Fernkit! I'll carry Mudkit!" Birdkit dug her claws into her mother's fur, holding on for dear life as Stormfeather left the den. The gorge was filled up with water, up to Stormfeather's belly; the wind howled and thunder shook the ground. Birdkit clung to her mother's fur even more tightly, looking up at her sister Fernkit. Fernkit was crying quietly, her eyes clouded with fear. Her brother Mudkit cried as water splashed him._

 _Stormfeather was almost at the camp entrance, almost safe. A huge wave of water suddenly crashed into them. Stormfeather disappeared and Birdkit was thrown away. Birdkit bobbed up to the surface, coughing._

 _"Stormfeather!" she cried. No response. Birdkit floundered her way to a rock outcropping and pulled herself up, searching the water for any sign of life. Suddenly, a brown head appeared nearby, coughing up water._

 _"Fernkit, over here!" Birdkit called, racing down the outcropping as only a Gorgeclan cat would. Birdkit, now right over her sister, reached out a paw, "Here, grab on!" Fernkit managed to get her paws above the water and dug her claws into her sister's paw. Birdkit grunted, heaving Fernkit onto the outcropping._

 _"Find Mudkit and Stormfeather!" Birdkit ordered, searching the waves again. Fernkit whimpered, coughed a few more times, then did as she was told, walking down the rocks to look. The water was still rising, the gorge filling with water. Birdkit searched desperately for Stormfeather and Mudkit._

 _"Please Starclan," she whispered. "Please don't take them."_

 _"Birdkit!" Birdkit turned to see Fernkit being washed away again._

 _"Fernkit!" she yowled, diving in after her. After a moment of desperate splashing, she managed to swim over to Fernkit and dug her claws into her sister's pelt._

 _"Stay together!" she yelled as lightning split the sky, thunder booming right after. Fernkit was becoming heavier every moment._

 _"Help!" Birdkit yowled repeatedly. "Help us!" She struggled to stay afloat._

 _"There!" She heard a yowl. Birdkit smiled, closing her eyes; they were going to be rescued._

Birdkit looked at Fernkit beside her; her sister's brown fur was still soaked, the black bands that usually were usually especially fluffy flattened. Birdkit examined her surroundings; they were under a bush, a couple piles of herbs beside them. This definitely wasn't Gorgeclan camp. The sky was still dark, but the rain had stopped. How long had she been asleep? Birdkit struggled to her paws, instantly dizzy.

"Birdkit, you get back in your nest right now!" the medicine cat Raccoontail came from outside the bush, nosing the kit back to her nest. "You need to rest."

"Where are Stormfeather and Mudkit?" Birdkit asked. Raccoontail hesitated and it hit Birdkit: they were gone.

"No!" she buried her face in her paws, filled with loss. Raccoontail's ringed tail wrapped around her and he began to groom the kit, the same sadness reflected in his eyes.

* * *

Two moons had passed since the flood. The gorge was now dry and Gorgeclan had moved back into their camp. But to Birdkit, it just wasn't the same. She would wake up to cold air on her side, wondering where Mudkit was before remembering. She would turn to show Stormfeather the moth she had caught before realizing no one was there. She missed Mudkit's easy laugh and Stormfeather's expecting but warm demeanor.

Fernkit seemed to be doing better though. She was talking more than she ever had, talking out her grief with Willowgaze, the pretty white she-cat flecked with black who took care of them now. The queen would talk to both of them about how Stormfeather and her had always had each others' back in battle.

"The only time she wasn't by my side, I got my scar!" Willowgaze had told them, gesturing to her right eye, which had a pale pink scar beside it. "I almost lost my eye!" Batkit and Lionkit did their best to keep their denmates' spirits up as well, especially Lionkit. The handsome ginger tom always made sure Birdkit was smiling, usually doing something ridiculous to do so. Her father Owlscar never faltered in serving the clan, despite his grief. He came to visit them everyday, bring them prey and making sure that they were happy. He couldn't be a better father.

Birdkit headed to her nest, looking up at the stars for a moment before heading into the cave. She curled up in her nest of moss and feathers, closing her eyes.

"Birdkit!" She opened her eyes, her yellow ones meeting grey.

"Stormfeather?" she whispered, shocked. Stormfeather smiled. Birdkit ran to her mother, pressing her pelt to hers. When she stepped back, Birdkit looked her over. Stormfeather looked the same, but her fur was matted and her eyes seemed darker, with a glint that made Birdkit shiver.

"I'm glad you're here Birdkit," Stormfeather said, smiling. Birdkit suddenly felt like something was very, very wrong, "Mama, where am I?"

"This," Stormfeather gestured grandly with her tail, "is the Dark Forest." Birdkit squeaked with fear; the Dark Forest was where cats who were evil went when they died. But why was Stormfeather here?

"Why are we here?" Birdkit asked. Stormfeather blinked.

"Why, this is where I live now," she said, her voice slightly angry. "Starclan deemed me unworthy, just because I trained here. Darkgaze kept trying to tell me that they would betray me. I didn't want to believe him, but look at me now! This is my home now, and I'll never leave. Meanwhile, I'll get my revenge on Gorgeclan. Through you."

"What?!" Birdkit exclaimed, backing away. "I'd never do anything to hurt my clanmates!" Stormfeather looked confused, "You don't want to get back at them for abandoning us, leaving us to die? What about avenging Mudkit?! They will betray you and Fernkit if you don't do exactly what I say." Birdkit ducked her head, trying to avoid her mother's angry gaze. For a moment, neither of them moved. Then, Birdkit turned and ran; she ran and ran until she could no longer hear Stormfeather calling her. She saw light ahead and ran to it.

Birdkit awoke from the dream in her nest, gasping for breath. She looked beside her; Fernkit was sound asleep, her tail over her nose. The shaking she-kit settled back down in her nest, trying to forget her mother's words and her angry, angry eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

"Birdpaw, keep up!" Birdpaw giggled, running to catch up to her mentor, Blackdapple, the deputy of Gorgeclan. She had been an apprentice for three moons now, just one moon less than Lionpaw and Batpaw. Blazestar had considered giving Birdpaw and her sister to Shadethorn and Pebblesong, Boulderfury (who was Blackdapple's brother) and Rainsong's kits that had recently become warriors. However, he had deemed them too inexperienced and given them to older warriors. Blackdapple was kind and fair, so Birdpaw hadn't given it a second thought.

Birdpaw walked beside Blackdapple in the back of the patrol, following Dustclaw, a senior warrior and Raccoontail's brother, toward Waterclan territory. Birdpaw felt a bit on edge as they neared the river, which actually wasn't that far from camp; the river was the reason the gorge had filled with water when she was a kit and killed her brother and mother. Stormfeather's image came to her and she shook her head, fighting tears. She still couldn't get over her mother being evil. She hadn't told anyone, not even Fernpaw, about the dream. She just tried to forget it.

"I'm going to mark the border," Blackdapple said. "Birdpaw, watch out for Waterclan partols." Birdpaw nodded, puffing her chest out. Dustclaw chuckled and headed the opposite way as Blackdapple, staying near the river. Birdpaw approached the water, wading in, surprising herself. The water actually felt calm, so different from the flood. She laughed, splashing in the water.

"What are you doing?" Birdpaw turned to see Fernpaw and Lionpaw, their mentors Rainsong and Owlscar, and Boulderfury.

"Blackdapple and Dustclaw are marking the borders," Birdpaw explained. "Come on, the water feels great!" Lionpaw smiled, wading in beside her, "It's cold!" Fernpaw dipped her paws in the water, slowly letting more of her body get wet. Birdpaw giggled, but suddenly, water sloshed onto her face. Lionpaw laughed, his tail swishing back in forth in amusement. Birdpaw growled playfully, then swept her tail across the water toward him. Lionpaw shook his head, spluttering and blinking water out of his eyes. He laughed again and swept his tail toward her. Birdpaw purred and avoided the wave. Fernpaw smiled, joining in tentatively. Birdpaw laughed with her sister and best friend.

"Well," she thought as she glanced at the soaked, but still handsome Lionpaw, "maybe more than a friend."

"Help!" Birdpaw turned to see Fernpaw disappear under the water a little ways away.

"Fernpaw!" she cried, running toward where her sister had disappeared. Lionpaw held out her tail to stop her, "Wait!" Birdpaw watched as Owlscar, Rainsong, and Boulderfury splashed into the water.

"Fernpaw!" Owlscar cried, looking around frantically. Birdpaw had never seen him like this. Rainsong was pawing around, "There's a dip in the river. I can't find her!" Boulderfury helped his mate search, but soon the water got too high for them to wade.

"Fernpaw!" Birdpaw cried, Lionpaw's tail still around her shoulders.

There was no response.

* * *

Birdpaw lay in the middle of camp, staring at the lithe brown she-cat with black bands that lay still beside her, the she-cat's yellow eyes empty. Owlscar was beside Birdpaw, his own yellow eyes almost as dead as his daughter's. She had been named Fernstride. Birdpaw and Owlscar had chosen it for her love of running and confident step, even if it had been shy. She had washed up farther downstream and a Waterclan patrol had found her. Birdpaw's heart felt like it had been smashed into pieces.

"I hope she finds Mudkit," she thought. Soon, she could fight sleep no more and closed her eyes.

"Do you believe me now?" Birdpaw jumped away, looking around frantically. She gasped, "Stormfeather! What are you-"

"I told you, and you didn't listen!" Stormfeather roared, looking more rugged and insane than last time Birdpaw had seen her. "They could have tried harder to save Fernstride, but no! They let her drown!" Birdpaw couldn't say anything, just watched her mother pace and rant.

"I told you they would betray you both and now she's dead because of Gorgeclan! And Starclan didn't help either! Now," Stormfeather turned to her daughter, "will you join me? Is the death of your sister not proof-" Birdpaw turned and ran, unable to hear anymore. She couldn't even look at her mother. She remembered how when she was a kit and saw the light. She searched for the light and raced toward it when she found it. When she left the forest, she collapsed.

Awaking suddenly, Birdpaw gasped. She breathed heavily, looking around at the other sleeping cats. Owlscar was the only one still awake. He looked down at her, "I had nightmares too; when Stormfeather and Mudkit died. They'll go away eventually." He sounded so sad and defeated, Birdpaw couldn't bear to tell him the truth. She pressed against her father, giving him the best comfort she could.


	3. Chapter 3

"Starclan honors your loyalty and courage, and we welcome you as a full warrior of Gorgeclan," Blazestar laid his head on the new warrior's shoulder and she licked his shoulder.

"Birdheart! Birdheart!" Owlscar was the first to reach his daughter, nuzzling her and purring, "I'm so proud of you." Birdheart laughed and pulled away, "I'm not a kit anymore!" Owlscar's face fell, "I wish that Stormfeather was here to see this. Fernstride and Mudkit should be getting their warrior names today too." Birdheart touched her nose to her father's cheek, "They are watching over us now. One day we will see them again." Owlscar smiled and licked her forehead, "I love you Birdheart."

"I love you too," she replied, smiling.

"Congratulations Birdheart!" Blackdapple touched her nose to her former apprentice's. Birdheart purred, "Thank you!"

"Not bad," Birdheart turned to see Batfright and Lionfur; Lionfur had spoken. She smiled at them, "Thanks." Batfright nodded, "I've got to go on a hunting patrol with Owlscar and Pebblesong. I'll see you two later!" Lionfur and Birdheart watched him go, sharing a chuckle as the little black tom walked beside Pebblesong, striking up a conversation right away.

"He's smitten, my brother," Lionfur said. Birdheart laughed, but suddenly felt shy. She glanced at Lionfur, who smiled warmly, "Want to go for a walk?"

"Sure," she said, following him out of camp. They walked side by side. For a while, they didn't speak. Suddenly Lionfur turned to her, "There's something I want to ask you."

"What is it?" Birdheart asked, her heartbeat quickening.

"I know we're both young and have a lot of life ahead of us," Lionfur said, "but I don't want to wait. There's no other cat that I want to be with. Birdheart, will you be my mate?" Birdheart stared at him, her eyes shining. She reached out and touched her nose to his, "Yes." Lionfur smiled, sitting beside her, "You've made me very happy just now." She laughed and twined her tail with his, leaning against his shoulder. Lionfur purred, licking her cheek, "I love you." She looked up at him, "I love you too."

* * *

 ***3 moons later**

"I'm hungry!"

"Webkit's poking me!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

Birdheart growled slightly, flattening her ears. Rainsong's two moon old toms Webkit, Windkit, and Wolfkit were always complaining or fighting! Pebblesong came to sit by Birdheart, "Want to come out into camp with me? I think even my little ones are annoyed, and they aren't even born!" Birdheart smiled, looking at her swollen belly, "I don't think mine like it either!" The two she-cats left the nursery, going to sit near the empty apprentices' den.

"I can't wait until your kits are born!" Pebblesong said. "I think you're going to have a couple little she-cats that will be as sweet as honey!"

"Your kits will be too!" Birdheart insisted. Pebblesong smiled, "I wonder if they'll look more like me or Batfright. Imagine a little black tom just like him running around!" Birdheart purred, but then groaned. A sharp pain went through her whole body and she gasped, "My kits are coming!" Pebblesong gasped and scrambled up, "I'll get Raccoontail!" Birdheart groaned in response, getting down on her side. The pain was like nothing she had even experienced before. Raccoontail arrived and spoke to her calmly, "Birdheart, eat these. Pebblesong, fetch Lionfur from his border patrol." Birdheart saw the she-cat racing away out of the corner of her eye as she ate the herbs and gasped as another wave of pain overtook her. Raccoontail's voice seemed to be coming from a long way away, "Just stay calm Birdheart. You're doing great." Willowgaze had come over and started to lick her head, "You're doing well little one. Just keep breathing." Birdheart clenched her teeth, another wave of pain rushing through her body.

Time blurred and soon, Willowgaze was supporting her back to the nursery. Birdheart practically collapsed into her nest, and another moment later, she felt a small, warm body pressed against her. She looked down and purred weakly. There was only one she-cat, not quite as Pebblesong had predicted. She was bright ginger, a little version of Birdheart. Lionfur came into the nursery; he had arrived for the end of the birth, barely having any time to fuss over her. Now he came and laid down next to his mate, gazing at their kit, "She's beautiful." Birdheart purred, "What shall we name her?"

"How about Brightkit?" Lionfur suggested. She nodded, "I like that." Lionfur smiled and began to groom her fur, "I'm so proud of you. I love you." Birdheart smiled and closed her eyes, barely managing to whisper "I love you" back before she fell asleep.

The first snow came a moon later and sickness entered camp. Birdheart soon found herself in the medicine den, coughing up a storm. She looked down at her belly, where Brightkit was.

"Mama, my throat hurts," she whined weakly, burrowing into Birdheart's fur. Birdheart pulled her kit toward her, looking over at the other sick cats: Shadethorn, Thornflight, and Dustclaw. She sighed and it quickly turned into a cough. She tried to relax and eventually fell into a troubled sleep, thinking, "Oh Starclan, please help us."

Birdheart awoke suddenly, feeling like something was very wrong. She looked around, but nothing seemed out of place. She looked down, dread starting to fill her.

"No!" she yowled, shaking Brightkit with a paw. The kit didn't respond, her body cold and her usually sparkling yellow eyes empty.

"No, no, no!" Birdheart cried, pulling her little kit's body to her. "Please Starclan, don't take her!" Raccoontail, hearing her cries, ran over and sniffed Brightkit. He looked up at Birdheart and shook his head slightly. She cried out, holding her daughter's body to her, her little Brightkit. She could hear the others talking and someone leaving the den, but she didn't care. All that mattered was the small, cold body against her fur. She closed her eyes, her body shaking. She felt someone come beside her; she looked up to see Lionfur and Owlscar. Lionfur pressed himself against her, obviously filled with grief. Owlscar started to groom her ears, but Birdheart was hardly comforted. All she knew was that Brighkit, her little, sweet, beautiful daughter, was dead.

* * *

 ***A few days later**

Birdheart sat outside the warriors' den, staring at the full moon. It was lightly snowing and it was beautiful. At least, it could have been. She stood and headed back to her nest beside Lionfur and curled up. She closed her eyes, ready for another troubled sleep.

"Birdheart!" Birdheart opened her eyes.

"No!" she cried. "Why can't you leave me alone?!" Stormfeather looked worse than ever. Her yellow eyes blazed with fury, and she stood tall and proud. She hissed in her daughter's face, "Why won't you break?! Your patrol let Fernstride die! The whole clan left Mudkit and me to die! And now you've lost Brightkit, your daughter, your joy! Why won't you join me?!" Birdheart almost turned and ran, but then suddenly remembered her warrior ceremony.

"Starclan honors your loyalty and courage," she whispered. She closed her eyes then opened them; they were just as striking as her mother's, but they shone with courage, not fury.

"I will never turn against my clanmates!" Birdheart declared, stepping toward Stormfeather. "They are kind, loyal, and my family! I may have lost many cats I love, but I have the support and love of my father, my clanmates, and my mate! I will never join you!" Stormfeather glared at her, baring her teeth. Birdheart growled, unsheathing her claws. Stormfeather suddenly turned and walked away, never looking back. Birdheart turned and walked in the opposite direction, heading toward the light. This time, when she crossed for the border, she didn't wake up. She looked around, "Starclan!"

"That's right my dear sister," Birdheart turned to see Fernstride. She was sitting there with two kits, one brown and one bright ginger. Birdheart ran to her sister, pressing her pelt to hers. She was bigger than her now, but that didn't matter. She looked down at the kits, and felt like crying.

"Mudkit," she whispered. Her brother smiled and touched his nose to hers, "I've missed you."

"And I you," Birdheart said, then turned to Brightkit. "Brightkit. Oh Brightkit!" Brightkit pressed herself against her mother, closing her eyes for a moment. She then looked up at her, "I love you." Birdheart smiled, her eyes filled with tears, "I love you so much."

"Stormfeather won't bother you anymore," Fernstride said when Birdheart straightened up. "She knows she can't break you. I'm proud of you Birdheart." Birdheart nodded, looking at her family, "Do I have to leave? I don't want to lose you again!" Mudkit smiled, "We're watching over you from Starclan." Brightkit nodded, "You will never lose us. We'll be here when you come." Birdheart nodded, "Goodbye for now." Fernstride touched her nose to her sister's one more time, then Birdheart closed her eyes. She awoke in her nest, sunlight filtering in through the entrance of the warriors' den. She got up and went into the camp.

"Birdheart!" Lionfur ran over to her. "You're finally up!" Birdheart smiled, touching her nose to her mate's, "Of course. Now, how will we serve the clan today?"

 **Author's Note: This was such a fun challenge! Mothers are one of the most influential people in your life and I'm so proud of Birdheart for standing up for what she believed. I hope you enjoyed this short story and have a wonderful day.**


End file.
